I'm on a bit of a tear lately about how every one of our patterns and habits are developed as life-saving strategies. Our bodies and nervous systems never do anything "bad" or "wrong", they only do things in order to save our lives. And as social creatures so much of survival is about belonging, because we literally can't survive on our own. I'm so curious about the patterns we adopt in order to belong, which may or may not be serving us now but which were vitally important when they were created. My personal work recently has been all about the patterns I developed in response to my female socialization and my female-bodied adolescence in the 90s. Much of my recent work with clients has been about working with patterns that are responses to racialized, gendered, sexuality, and class experiences. All of it ultimately boils down to belonging I think. I'm finding that knowing that, my students and I both approach the pattern that is no longer serving us differently, with less judgement, less guilt, and less shame. And then we can learn to choose something else, to set it aside with gratitude for all it's done for us, and to discover new ways to find the belonging that is innate and life giving.

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